also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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