why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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