What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
