yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
barbara walters just said penis...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
