he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
