He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
