So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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