I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
