a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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