I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
