TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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