So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
