Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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