My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
