His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
