Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
