I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
True college students do jello shots in the library
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
