and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
