just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
