it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
