Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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