I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
