how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
