I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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