had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
