Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
