Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Bring me that man meat
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
