quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
