We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
