Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
