I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
