how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
