ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
now i know why i became what i already was.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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