Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
