Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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