pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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