after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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