you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
