she was so not down for the gang bang
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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