oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize