You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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