YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
