therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize