I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
