Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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