just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
