We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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