We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish my penis had an off switch
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
