He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
