goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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