went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
