I think I died a long time ago.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
