This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
