Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
