I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
