I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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