The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
