Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
