he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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