ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
